In the Context of Love:
A Journey of Self-Discovery and Strength
The second darkest moment in my writing career
was when I reached that awful juncture with my then-agent: she asked me if I
had anything else to show her because my first novel didn’t sell. Editors had overwhelmingly
praised it, but they wanted the next bestseller, not a solid mid-list novel. It
was a crushing disappointment. Because I’m a writer, though, I started work on something
new, but let me tell you it’s tough to write when you’re not sure the story
will ever see the light of day.
Shortly after, the very darkest moment happened:
In 2011, my eldest child at age 32 lost his fight against depression and took
his own life. I can’t tell you how painful this was, not only to me as a
mother but to our entire family. My dreams of publication, my writing
goals, everything I’d once aspired to now seemed unimportant. I didn’t even feel
I had the right to have goals.
The first year after his death was incredibly
hard; the second year just seemed cruel.
Derek had often called me in the afternoon when I was writing to talk to me
about philosophy, mythology, Egyptology, Jim Morrison, travel, whatever. I
found it impossible to sit at the computer, knowing the phone would never ring
with his call again.
I shut my computer down. I let it all go. I
had to trust the desire to write would return when I was ready. If not, well,
that was okay, too. My husband and I adopted an adorable one-year old Welsh
Pembroke corgi that needed some serious retraining, so I funneled what little
focus I had into working with her. She was good for me. Clementine didn’t care
if I cried when we went on walks. She became my therapy dog.
There were times I wondered if I would ever
write again. After two years, I decided it was time to find out. Knowing Derek had
been proud of my prior writing accomplishments convinced me it was okay to have
dreams again. My heart wasn’t in writing anything new, though— I didn’t want to
give up on that first novel, In the Context of Love. It is a story of
one women’s personal journey of strength, redemption and empowerment after
breaking the silence of shame. In a way, her story became symbolic to me. I was
determined to get it published.
I worked with an author/editor on the
manuscript, and soon that wonderful enthusiasm for writing returned. In the Context of Love evolved into a
much more powerful story. Excited, I sent the manuscript to a handful of small
presses on my own. Shortly after Buddhapuss Ink LLC offered me a contract to
publish it.
Life is a constantly evolving journey of
self-discovery. I don’t know if there’s ever an end to the journey when you
lose someone to suicide because you have to find your way every single day.
Living with loss becomes part of who you are, yet we can’t let tragedy define us.
We have to let it go. “The heart is imprisoned not by being broken, but by
being silenced.” ~ Martha Beck.
Thank you for listening.
***
Linda K. Sienkiewicz attributes her creative
drive to her artistic mother, who let her paint murals on her bedroom wall, and
her father, who let her monkey around with the gadgets in his workshop. She is
well published in fiction and poetry, has a poetry chapbook award, a Pushcart
Prize nomination, and a Masters of Fine Art in Fiction. Her debut novel, In the Context of Love, was inspired by the real life stories from a
Glamour magazine article titled “My Father Was a Rapist.”
“Sienkiewicz’s powerful and richly
detailed debut novel is at once a love story, a cautionary tale, and an
inspirational journey. In the Context of Love should be required
reading for all wayward teenage girls—and their mothers, too.” ~ Bonnie Jo Campbell, author of critically
acclaimed Mothers, Tell Your Daughters.
In
the Context of Love on
Amazon http://amzn.to/1G2ajVq
Author website http://lindaksienkiewicz.com/
Blog http://lindaksienkiewicz.com/blog/
Twitter https://twitter.com/LindaKSienkwicz
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/linda.k.sienkiewicz
Author website http://lindaksienkiewicz.com/
Blog http://lindaksienkiewicz.com/blog/
Twitter https://twitter.com/LindaKSienkwicz
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/linda.k.sienkiewicz
Thank you, Charlene, for sharing my story on your blog. It's through sharing that we feel less alone! xo
ReplyDeleteLinda
And you have such a way with words, Linda! the sharing goes both ways. Thank you!
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